Wedding Planners - How Mother And Daughter Can Survive Planning A Wedding
Plan for the worst. Hope for the best.
Weddings are notorious for causing permanent conflict in a family. The stress of wanting to please all the guests, combining two families together, and the financial strain on everyone is heavy on the shoulders. A lot of this stress can be bypassed with a little forethought and planning before the first wedding item is bought.
Sit at the table with both, Bride and Groom.
Often, the groom is left out of the planning. Ultimately, this falls on the bride to be and her mother, the unpaid wedding planners. However, the groom should be involved before you make your first list. Follow the tips below and the planning process should be one of great memories for years to come. Things to address with the couple at this stage would be the following:
1. Decide on a budget.
Mom, and Dad this should begin with you. Have some kind of a number in your head. $3,000, $8,000, $25,000 what is feasible for you. How do you plan to finance this wedding. Credit card, bank loan, savings, pay as you go over the year before the wedding. Now is the time to present this to the kids. Give them a range you would like to keep them in. Now stick with it. Together, now is the time for everyone to make a decision as to the importance of each main area in a wedding.
If you come up short in the budget because you blew most of it on the dress what are you willing to give up in the other areas. Does either of the couple have the means to contribute financially and are they willing to do so. Don't forget they also have the financial responsibility to purchase their rings, gifts for the wedding party and the helpers at the wedding. They may want to save back enough to offer to purchase at least a round of drinks for the guests from the Bride and Groom during the reception. They also have to save for the honeymoon.
If you cannot afford over a certain amount then it is up to them to come up with it themselves or scale the wedding back and find ways of achieving what they want by more economical ways. There is no reason to be in debt forever for a wedding you just can't afford.
2. How involved do each of you want to be in the planning.
Ok, you have a budget set, you all know what numbers you're working with.
Break this down into categories. If the groom only wants to pick out his tux or decide on a cake flavor then you know ahead of time that is all the help you will be getting from him. Decide who is ultimately the deciding vote for each category in a wedding then move on.
3. Set up time frames.
Setting up time frames for each area of the planning can reduce great stress later on. This would be things such as a time to have the Save the Date made, addressed, and mailed out to guests. What date do you agree is a good time to send the official invitations. When would you prefer the groom have his tux picked out, and so on and so forth.
Everyone is busy these days. By establishing deadlines for each of these areas ahead of time then all involved know what the plan is, what is expected of them, and it helps to stay on track.
4. Set up meeting with the in-laws to be.
Call the grooms' family and invite them to dinner to go over the wedding plans once you have them prepared, to include them and see what areas they plan to contribute in. Customarily, these areas would be the rehearsal dinner, sometimes alcohol, sometimes tux or flowers. Have a list of things that are traditionally their responsibility and ask what they are financially or physically willing to take on. You will get a more favorable response if you include them initially than if you wait until later and just ask for money.
If they are not financially capable or willing to cover all these things then ultimately this falls back onto the brides' cost of the wedding and the plan may have to be revamped accordingly.
5. Work your categories.
You should have a list of the main things that happen in any wedding. If you have no idea where to start then search on the internet for weddings, wedding advice, wedding help and information. You will get all the ideas you need.
Create a wish list for each area. Call around and get prices so you know where you stand. Start putting a plan together. At this point if you have followed the tips mentioned above you should have a fairly good road map to follow.
Now, and only now should you begin the planning of the wedding. If you can't get to this point and still be talking you're probably not going to be talking at the wedding either.
Congratulations to all on your upcoming weddings.
Pam McCall is co-owner/writer/designer of two websites. Area Rugs by McCall's - Browse and buy Area Rugs online. McCall's Wedding Gift Registry available online now.